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Jokes Quotes

I think people are a lot more sensitive than they used to be, and quite rightly so. I don't think we should be using racial jokes and things like that.

People Think More Racial Jokes Used

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

People Laugh Jokes Purity Because

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

Writing Bad Jokes Really

Mathematicians are always playing tricks on each other. They're always pulling jokes on each other.

Always Jokes Playing Mathematicians

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.

Jokes Servant Make Civil

People want to see comedies where characters aren't sacrificed for the jokes.

People Want See Jokes Where

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You Achieve Through Jokes Realism

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

Me Laugh You Realize Ask Jokes

If I'm laughing, you know I'm either very happy or very sad. I cope with things with jokes.

Cristela Alonzo

Sad Happy You Know Jokes Things

My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage - although I realize I'm supposed to punctuate it with jokes.

I Am Goal Realize Jokes How Am

I do Twitter, but I'm still not great on it - I'm not good at writing short little jokes, so my Twitter's not really a jokey thing.

Good Great Writing Short Jokes

I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

Myself Create Through Jokes Stuff

I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.

Politics Religion Jokes Ethnic

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family Bond Strangers Alive Jokes

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Funny Me Holocaust Way Never Jokes

My dad always jokes that we should have a reality TV show because my friends and I pull crazy stunts, like putting Saran Wrap on the toilet.

Crazy Reality Friends Always Jokes

I don't like the pressure to try to tell the best jokes. I'm not good at jokes.

Good Best Pressure Try Jokes Tell

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.

Forgiveness Great Me Joke Jokes Big

I don't really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically.

Sarah Silverman

Women Care Fat Jokes Like Really

I'm the youngest of four, and I'm always the clown - making the jokes, wanting attention.

Attention Always Jokes Clown Four

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

Funny Creating Being Funny Jokes

I don't think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes in between songs, so people don't leave feeling too dark.

Sad People Think Feeling Dark Jokes

While 'The Middle' is still funny for adults to watch, there aren't sex jokes. And I'm fine with that. I like the idea that my nieces and nephews can watch it without their parents.

Funny Parents Sex Jokes Nephews

I did so many open mics. I would write jokes on Twitter constantly, and then slowly, over time, open mics turned into shows. If you can get a joke to work at an open mic, it's a good joke.

Work Good Time You Write Jokes

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