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Jokes Quotes

None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes.

Lisa Lampanelli

Fat Comedy Looks Never Jokes None

Audiences of critical thinkers are my favorite kinds of audiences. There are jokes I tell in the show that don't get laughs unless I am in front of an audience of critical thinkers. Put me in front of a crowd of science teachers or astronauts! The guileless aren't our audience - it's the critical thinkers we love.

Love Science I Am Me Teachers Jokes

Our fans often tell us that they see themselves in us. The relationship between the guys in Broken Lizard rings a bell with them, because they have their own little friend groups, with their own complex dynamics, and their own private jokes.

Jay Chandrasekhar

Friend Relationship Broken See Jokes

Anything where I get to write a lot of jokes and have a lot of creative control - that's all I want.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Creative Control Want Write Jokes

I don't do jokes. The characters are my jokes.

Jonathan Winters

Jokes Characters

'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.

Fun People Wonder Person Jokes Ease

I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself.

Myself Best Know Jokes Up Made

When I was a kid, we got in a cipher and battled each other lyrically. We told jokes and made the hottest dance moves.

Dance Kid Jokes Got Made Moves

Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.

Music Building Play Sometimes Jokes

I think jokes on colour or body shaming shouldn't be made. It's not funny to crack such jokes.

Funny Think Body Colour Jokes Crack

With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

Reality Comedy Create Jokes Little

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

Natasha Leggero

Hamburger Jokes Writes Cutting Neil

The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past.

Change Past People Way Become Jokes

Baltimore has been a punchline/punching bag for years - I've landed a few blows, to be fair - but those old jokes are out of touch.

Bag Touch Fair Old Out Jokes

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

I Can Jokes Even Really

I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.

Harland Williams

Funny Laugh Acting Jokes Guy Starts

Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.

Brother Crazy Jokes Goofy Practical

My Instagram got deleted a lot of times. I used to do rough jokes and curse a lot.

Jokes Instagram Curse Used Rough

In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

Sunil Gangopadhyay

Jokes Crack Gods Known Did Expense

I was never a joke teller. I don't even like jokes, for the most part. I don't like to hear them, and rarely can I even remember one.

Remember Never Joke Jokes Like Even

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

Seth MacFarlane

Funny Morning Day More Next Jokes

You could waterboard me for days - for years - and I would still be cracking jokes about how bad Rachel Maddow is.

Me You Bad Years Jokes Days

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

Attitude Saying Way Same Jokes Got

I secrete jokes like the pancreas secretes... whatever the pancreas secretes.

Marshall Brickman

Whatever Jokes Like

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