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Jokes Quotes

I adore jokes. They're a theatrical contrivance, but the irony of all fiction is that you approach reality by avoiding it a bit; you spoof it a bit.

Reality You Irony Jokes Fiction Bit

I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke.

Speech Joke Jokes Guts Did Biggest

There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.

Freedom Myself Comedy Old Jokes Up

I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.

Character Story Care More Jokes

I've never sat down and written jokes. I wouldn't know how to.

Down Know Never Jokes How Written

I actually like jokes as well as things that are sort of fun.

Fun Jokes Things Well Like Sort

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.

Hector Elizondo

Trust You Pause Out Jokes Something

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

Work Good Serious Jokes Could

I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.

Love Me Out Jokes Little Going

I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to get more people to sign up to be fans.

Lisa Lampanelli

Knowledge People Reality More Jokes

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Writing Joke Jokes Tell Who Like

The reality about shooting films is that you can shoot many jokes and decide later which one works. So it's not worth fighting about jokes.

Jay Chandrasekhar

Reality Fighting Worth You Jokes

I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes you tell, nine of them have to get a really good response.

Daniel Radcliffe

Good You Never Stage Out Jokes

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

You Gym My Own Jokes Own Sell

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.

Girl Start Bad Blush Jokes Tell

I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is.

Humor Healing Jokes Greatest Because

Every sketch goes through a rewrite stage where a group of writers sits around a table and pitches more jokes and ideas for the piece.

Ideas Table Group Sketch More Jokes

My favorite moments are the moments everyone cries over. I see people in the audience crying, and I go, 'I did that, too. I don't just do the jokes. I also do the cries.' Jokes and cries, jokes and cries. That's all I'm here for, people.

Douglas Carter Beane

People Moments Go Over See Jokes

There's an audience that is paid to laugh at my jokes. I'm playing a character while I'm doing stand-up. Real stand-ups, man, they're playing themselves. I'd be far too terrified.

Rachel Brosnahan

Character Man Laugh Doing Jokes Far

Everyone can write jokes and makes things clever.

Clever Write Everyone Jokes Things

I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references.

Jokes Stolen References

Nobody had song titles that were as long as ours. A lot of it was just inside jokes.

Song Long Nobody Inside Jokes Just

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.

Smart Me Know Teachers Class Jokes

I was always Armie. There couldn't be a 90-year-old Armand and a 9-day-old one. And I heard enough jokes about baking soda.

Baking Enough Always Jokes Soda

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