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Jokes Quotes

I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then I try to fit them in.

Try Write Jokes Up Narrative Come

Basically, I don't like to tweet stuff about my life. I only like to tweet jokes.

Life My Life Jokes Only Like Stuff

I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.

Funny Loved Long Way Jokes Bus

The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn't just common to me; it's anybody who's funny.

Funny Me Problem You Humour Jokes

I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.

Humor Talking Everyday Heroes Jokes

I've always been 'ethnic friend,' without any serious moments, all jokes.

Friend Moments Serious Without Jokes

I've always said drag queens are like Swiss Army knives. Most come from having to take $50-a-show pay and doing their own costume, wig, music and jokes.

Music Army Doing Said Pay Jokes

I used to tell jokes about Internet-enabled lightbulbs. I can't tell jokes about it anymore - there already is an Internet-connected lightbulb.

Jokes Tell Used Anymore About

I prefer sayings over jokes.

Over Jokes Sayings Prefer

I don't believe in karma.

Sandra Bernhard

Myself Bad Jokes Comic Performer

Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

Music Today Silence Present Jokes

Anything traumatic in my life I've always dealt with through jokes and comedy.

Life My Life Comedy Jokes Anything

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

Wish Know I Wish Jokes Embarrassing

The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun.

Good Fun Saying Movies Horror Jokes

I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense.

Michael Showalter

Me Fat Someone Say Jokes Big

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

Friends You Jokes Darkest Going Who

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared.

Funny Love Humor Think Jokes Scared

I'm a fun person. I like cracking jokes and being completely nerdy.

Helena Christensen

Fun Person Jokes Nerdy Being Like

I could never sit down and write jokes.

Down Never Write Jokes Sit Could

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

Love Soul My Soul Listen Jokes Tell

My act's not heavy on pop culture or stories, just lots of jokes.

Judah Friedlander

Culture Jokes Act Heavy Pop Culture

I love my jokes.

Love Jokes I Love

I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of them.

War Entertainment Butt Jokes Being

I've liked being Jewish in America - there's a secular version of Jewishness there that's more about bagels and jokes than going to synagogues.

America More Jewish Jokes Going

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