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Joke Quotes

For years and years, I was beset with snide remarks by certain members of the press, where they would turn John Oates into a joke, or they would trivialize what I do, which never really bothered me all that much.

Me Never Years Turn Joke Where

I intend to buy 'The New York Times.' Please don't take it as a joke.

New York New Joke Buy Take Please

I have a great pic of my father and Rev. Graham laughing hysterically at some joke with George Pratt Shultz looking on back in 1972 or so.

Father Great Looking Back Joke Some

It's a very young mistake to assume that life is very serious. I get the joke now.

Life Mistake Serious Young Now Joke

I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing.

People Laugh Know Why Joke Things

I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.

Me Book Serious More Joke Jokes

I'm so absolutely pro-Denver. I wrote a fake hip-hop song about Denver. I've been claiming Denver. Part of the joke of the song is nobody was really claiming Denver - no rappers, no comedians.

Song Fake Nobody Hip-Hop Joke Been

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

Joke Anything Apologizing

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Irish Joke Seen Gave

Comedy is subjective, and any joke can be funny.

Phoebe Robinson

Funny Comedy Joke Subjective Any

If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times.

Lance Armstrong

Face Joke Medieval Did Times

I laughed, even if I was the butt of the joke.

Butt Joke Even Laughed

Every joke in 'The Office' was unexpected. I cringed; I could hardly look. I cried with laughter.

Laughter Unexpected Look Office Joke

I once did a flip-flop joke in San Diego, and I got booed... but it's all in good fun.

Sebastian Maniscalco

Good Fun San Diego Joke Got Once

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.

Today Tomorrow Crisis Joke

I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.

Today Suicide New Joke Watch Her

I could battle rap forever, but it's a joke to me.

Me Battle Joke Forever Rap Could

My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.

Will Two Joke Well Tour Album

I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke.

Time Now Sober Decade Over Joke

In earlier comics, my only priority was telling a joke in the last panel, but now I try to make every panel as interesting as possible, and that normally means at least a li'l joke there.

Interesting Now Possible Try Joke

I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!'

Police Comedy You Realize Joke Out

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

People Joke Things About Could

In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.

Life You Always Joke Things Get

A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

Me Laugh You Play Joke Tell

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