American - Comedian | February 25, 1975 -
Network TV is so limiting. There are so many parameters.
Chelsea Handler
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I started my own business because my parents had no dowry for me, and I was worried. I ran it from their Martha Vineyard's summer house. I baby-sat for a 14-year-old boy all summer and was giving him time-outs, even though I was two years younger than him.
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My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
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I once waited on a group of 10 people, and one guy collected the money from the check and tipped me $20 on $600. I told him in front of everyone, 'Jews like you give Jews like me a bad name.' That was my last waitressing job.
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TMZ is so disgusting.
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I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.
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Personally, I'd have a baby just for the epidural.
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The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.
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I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.
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Once you've achieved success, and you're making decisions that are working, I don't understand why anyone would be second-guessing themselves.
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I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I've done a good job.
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I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.
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