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Chelsea Handler Quotes

American - Comedian | February 25, 1975 -

In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.

Chelsea Handler

Relationship Yourself You Table New

Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life.

Chelsea Handler

Life Fun Think Long You Go

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.

Chelsea Handler

Eyes Weird Strange Hard Pretty Take

There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.

Chelsea Handler

Racism People True Difference Joke

I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people.

Chelsea Handler

People Human Interest Like Really

People are following me because they want to see pictures of me. So why is Instagram editing them?

Chelsea Handler

People Me Pictures Want Editing Why

There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off.

Chelsea Handler

Day Fun People Interesting You Off

Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I'm like, 'I don't know... Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?' I usually write 'author' - that's the safest bet.

Chelsea Handler

Time Down Country Know Write Host

I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'

Chelsea Handler

Myself Thought Doing Want Old Years

Men are always like, 'You're so intimidating.' I don't find myself to be. But whatever - I'm not going to try to be less intimidating. It's just a matter of finding a guy who's able to deal with it.

Chelsea Handler

Myself Men Finding You Find Matter

I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.

Chelsea Handler

Marriage Personality Strong Divorce

Great guys exist. They may not be in the package you think you like, and they may not come when you feel you deserve them the most, but they're there. I believe it. You should too. Because now I'm with someone who makes me grow every day. His name is Netflix.

Chelsea Handler

Great Day Me Believe Think Name

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