American - Comedian | December 6, 1955 -
What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.
Steven Wright
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I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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How young can you die of old age?
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Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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