American - Comedian | February 28, 1955 -
My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I've never understood people who say they're not a practicing Jew. You never hear a black guy say he's not a practicing African-American. What does it even mean?
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Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
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Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'
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I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that.
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Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
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I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.
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I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks.
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If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'
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With me, traveling for work is arriving at the airport, checking into the hotel, leaving the hotel the next morning at 4 or 5 to do something like 'The Jimmy and Jackie Captain Crazy Morning Zoo,' doing a bunch of those in a row, then going back to the hotel, and then finally going to the club.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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