American - Comedian | January 29, 1880 - December 25, 1946
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
SmileHumorDayStartEvery DayGet
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
MoneyManRichNothingPoor
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
SnakeSmallAlwaysCarryWhiskey
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
FunnyFoodWineSometimesCookEven
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
WomenCrazyDoubtQuestionDegree
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
ThinkYearSundayPhiladelphiaOnce
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
LiveWaterFoodNothingProhibition
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
YouBullBrillianceThem
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
YouAnswerCall
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
PetDownCheeseCleverRatCat
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
WaterTrustYouStickCrookedEven
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
PeopleHorseSenseBettingThing
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