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W. C. Fields Quotes

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: January 29, 1880 - December 25, 1946

Topics

Water Trust You Stick Crooked Even

It's hard to get personal films off the ground, and it's hard developing them.

Personal Hard Ground Get Off Them

It is time to return to core values, time to get back to basics, to self-discipline and respect for the law, to consideration for the others, to accepting responsibility for yourself and your family - and not shuffling it off on other people and the state.

Family Respect Time Responsibility

Parents can only do what they think is best, with the experience they have. The learning curve for every parent is that there's a limit to how much they can shield children from.

Learning Children Best Experience

God bless America, God bless the troops.

God America Bless God Bless Troops

When I was 13, I was saying that I wanted to be signed to a label. I was begging my dad to get me signed with somebody.

Me Saying Begging Get Somebody Dad

I'd like to say it is only average people who revel in the mistakes of others.

Mistakes People Say Others Average

The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.

Life Loneliness Myself Men Curious

I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter - small varmints, if you will. I began when I was 15 or so, and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then.

Small You Will Always Rabbit Hunter

I always knew I wanted to have children. When I met my husband, Rande, I thought, 'This is the guy.' When you are getting ready to become a mom, being in love with someone just isn't enough. You need to think about whether he would be a good parent and raise your children with similar beliefs.

Love Good Children Mom Husband

Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

People Interesting You Know Way Who

I once thought I would never be able to kick a ball again.

Thought Never Ball Kick Able Again

I define genuine full employment as a situation where there are at least as many job openings as there are persons seeking employment, probably calling for a rate of unemployment, as currently measured, of between 1 and 2 percent.

William Vickrey

Job Situation Genuine Employment

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