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Erma Bombeck Quotes

American - Journalist | February 21, 1927 - April 22, 1996

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Mother Compassion Mom Understanding

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

Car Wait You Place Bathroom Out

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

Mother Wisdom Mom White Infinite

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Coincidence Thanksgiving Prepare Take

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Morning Child World Christmas Awake

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Funny Car Children You Windows More

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Success Fame Other Confuse Madonna

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

Dreams Courage Your Dreams Someone

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Sun Sand Skin Sunny Out Off

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.

Mind Brain Facts Go Will Human

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Birthday Friend Wife Husband Never

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

Live Society Leaf Clothes Copy Wear

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