American - Journalist | February 21, 1927 - April 22, 1996
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
WorldLookParadiseNothingMore
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
MotherMomAdviceYouWantMatter
Children make your life important.
LifeChildrenImportantMakeYour
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
FamilyFoodPoliticsReligionUp
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
BetterLaughYouMake
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
HomeWomenFoodMeYouSpice
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
TryingYouTryUpKeepSure
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
MedicalBookYouHospitalClubOut
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
WifePeopleHusbandCareGrowLook
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
CourageHatMeEnoughDignityUp
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
WeekYouGoWillBuyAnything
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.
MomYouHouseWrongKnowNever
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Erma Bombeck quotes