American - Journalist | July 3, 1947 -
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Dave Barry
KnowPointLittleVarietyStayHow
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
IdiotProfessionalMeanUsedWord
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
FatBagFrenchCrawling
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
SadI AmHappyFeelNewsKnow
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
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Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
TruthMenSimpleCoolTruth IsLook
To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
LifeBetterYouLookWhyPersonal
I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.
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