American - Comedian | July 27, 1957 -
I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off.
Bill Engvall
ManPeopleStupidThoughtDoing
If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen.
GoodWalkPeopleGood ThingsTreat
I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.'
HatePeopleStupidSaySignsWear
I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.
LoveGoodGreatLaughterLaughYou
No sooner my kids leave their friends than they start texting them. And it's all in code in a language I totally don't understand.
StartLanguageFriendsUnderstand
My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.'
FamilyLookBackGoalSayGet
It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.
FunnyPeopleMeThoughtBe Different
I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'
CarMyselfDayWindowStupidYou
I don't pick on people.
PeoplePick
There's a reason God didn't give me this success in my 20s, because I'd have blown it.
SuccessGodMeReasonGive MeGive
I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.
PoliticsReligionJokesEthnic
I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.
TimeLongLong TimeNervousBeen
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Bill Engvall quotes