American - Director | December 1, 1935 -
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Woody Allen
TraditionIllusion
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
LifeLonelinessSufferingOverSoon
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
LifeArtBadTelevisionImitate
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
FunnyTeamChessHeightBecause
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
LoveGoodExperienceLove IsSexGo
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
ThankfulI AmLaughterMilkOutAm
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
SuccessShowing UpUpSuccess Is
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
LifeFunnyI AmRegretSomeoneElse
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
GodFindingSundayTryPlumberOnly
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
GodLaughYouWantPlansHim
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
LifeSuccessShowing UpSeventyUp
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
GoodPeopleWorldBetterBad People
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