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Woody Allen Quotes

American - Director | December 1, 1935 -

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

Words Him Guy Fruitful Hit Multiply

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Experience Death Impossible Carry

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

Time Fun Rest Most Much Any

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Doing Profit Know Movies Right Show

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

Car Bad Run Two Over Being

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Suicide Next Commit Armenian Tried

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Me Gold Proud Grandfather Watch His

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Frozen Cook Suck Who TV Them

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Education Moral More Bankruptcy Than

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

America Year Crime Office Forty

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Love Over Smallpox Either Had

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

Money Think I Can Now Right Turn

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