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Woody Allen Quotes

American - Director | December 1, 1935 -

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Decision Wife Boss House Just Maker

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Life Death Evening Insurance You

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Peace War Russia Twenty Minutes

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Failure Doing You Now Anything Sign

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Night Saturday Saturday Night Chances

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Dream Nothing What If Somebody

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Work Death Achieve Want Dying

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

Man Fun Mind Body More Two

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Together Lion Lie Sleep Down Get

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

God Me Name Bank Give Me Clear

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money Financial Better Poverty Only

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Illusion Nothing What If Everything

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