American - Comedian | November 14, 1947 -
The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, 'We be thugs.' The GOP may capture the youth vote at last.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots.
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Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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Liberals consider people to be nuisances.
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A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall.
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TV ushered in the age of postliteracy. And we have gone so far beyond that. I mean, what with the Internet and Google and Wikipedia. We have entered the age of post-intelligence.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help.
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats.
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