American - Comedian | November 14, 1947 -
Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to 'speak truth to power' to Robert Mugabe.
P. J. O'Rourke
TruthPowerPeaceBlameSpeakGone
Network television has been attempting to lure viewers for years with its low-interest programming only to have those viewers discover later that their brains are bankrupt.
TelevisionProgrammingYearsBrains
Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue.
BlueFaceStrategyYouWillTalk
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind.
WarChildCityAmericaSometimes
A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century.
LifeGreatLongCenturyChangedHis
Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System.
BestWorldSystemJackFederal
Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs.
WashingtonWatchingOffLikeCliffs
President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications.
LearnCitizenshipImmigrantsMeet
Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
NobodyBuyMakingChineseGoods
I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
EyesSmallLookHouseEverything
Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress.
ProgressAmericanPriceDevelopment
America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable.
AmericanAmericaHardUpPosition
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