American - Comedian | November 14, 1947 -
Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now behind the counter when you renew your car registration at the department of motor vehicles.
P. J. O'Rourke
CarHeartDayYouPersonNow
Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good.
GoodPeopleFeel GoodRestFeelWhy
We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.
BecomeBecauseDidLibertarians
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
LoveLivePeopleDieReasonAnts
Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else.
BridgeAmericaIceLandOverCome
After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States.
GodEventsEuropeUnitedLeftHere
The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon.
MoonAmericanCycleNumberPhases
You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor.
HistoryTimeThinkAmericaDoing
The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of gravity does.
LawCrisisGravityBecomeMoreLaws
War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not.
GovernmentWarTroubleAwayGoes
War diminishes both civil and economic rights.
WarRightsEconomicCivilBoth
Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don't speak English.
HatePeopleSpeakLadyCleaningWhy
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