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P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

American - Comedian | November 14, 1947 -

I have never Twittered or Tweeted or even Chirped.

I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling.

Children Parent Yelling Communicate

Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001.

Friends Moral Something Number Among

I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper.

Live Mind Weather World Better Help

America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief.

War America Tax Will Class Unfair

There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America sucks.' He recites poetry; he finds things that 'America sucks' rhymes with.

Love Poetry World America Go Skill

Philosophy was once considered science.

Science Philosophy Once Considered

The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside.

Family Car Phone Top Automobile Buy

Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician.

Effort Skill Raining Politician Part

Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy.

Home Think Navy Dogs Plastic Little

Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.

Vampire Almost Certain

In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.'

Change Hope Politics Government Fat

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