American - Comedian | April 29, 1954 -
When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, 'Oh, it must be so hard.' It really isn't hard unless you're not good at it. If you can do it, its really kind of fun and easy.
Jerry Seinfeld
GoodFunPeopleYou Can Do ItComedy
We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.
MomentPresentPresent MomentContact
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
GoodYourselfHusbandYouNeedCall
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
TruthPersonalityTruth IsSayKind
I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.
GoodTeamI CanThreeTwoOut
I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward.
PeopleForwardCareConfusedYouGo
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
FunnyWantMafiaAnythingTakeLike
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
PeopleMeTrueChristmasSpirit
Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
LifeLoveAttentionYouFallBack
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
MenCareOnlyTVElse
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
GodColorEndLipsLipstickAccept
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
MistakeWhyHereUsReplaceBabies
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