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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: April 29, 1954

Topics

Good Yourself Husband You Need Call

President Obama has outsourced a major portion of the U.S. space program to the Russians. That's national policy. Taxpayer money. So let's stop playing games with this outsourcing distortion and talk about the fact that when we need is a president that knows how to manage big enterprise and create jobs.

Money Space Create Stop Talk Need

There's something quite joyful about doing comedy which doesn't really need much analysis. I'm not elitist. I like to do crowd-pleasing stuff which is a bit smart, but is just about belly laughs.

Smart Comedy Doing Need Analysis

Chelsea is a big club, a club that has given me the opportunity to play as a starter, to grow even more.

Opportunity Me Grow Play More Club

We don't talk about the timing of open matters, but I certainly agree with the FBI director that in every investigation, no matter whom it involves, we are thorough, we are fair, we are efficient, and we move through the facts and the evidence and come to the conclusions that are called upon.

Facts Timing Matter Talk Matters

The gay people I knew in real life were soft spoken and didn't want to call attention to themselves because they were terrified of exposing themselves, of people finding out that they're gay.

Life People Finding Attention Gay

I consider myself just as normal as anybody else.

Myself Normal Just Anybody Else

My mother was really courageous.

Mother Courageous Really

We are all one. We're not as separate as we oftentimes think.

Think Separate Oftentimes

We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have - for their usefulness.

Time Men Imagination Doing Result

We all have experiences in our lives that change us, and we all learn from people, like my dad, but at the end of the day, it's only us. And we're only responsible to make ourselves happy.

Change Day Happy People End Learn

We had a showing of Battlestar in LA last week. I walked out the door and there were 50 people. I signed a ton of autographs. Other actors walked away without signing. These are the fans. I guess it depends. on who you are.

People Door Week You Without Out

As a child, I was tortured because my mother was a brilliant seamstress who made most of my clothes. I was despised by the children at school because I looked like I was going to an opening every day. We weren't wealthy at all; we lived in a row house in Philadelphia.

Mother Children Day School Child

Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Quote by Jerry Seinfeld