American - Comedian | September 6, 1958 -
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
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If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
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We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
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When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'
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