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Groucho Marx Quotes

American - Comedian | October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Me Care Accept Will Resignation Any

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Face Never Forget Forget Never Your

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

You Principles Others Well Like

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Art Water Me You Know Hand

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Judge Poor Anatomy Whoever Named

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Service Up Room Send Larger

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Time Remember Sex First Time First

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Speak Important Say Something Before

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Mind You Over Club Head Beat

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

Man You Find Know Way Ask

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Marriage Politics Strange Make Does

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

You Thirty Days Something September

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