Kumail Nanjiani Quotes

Honestly, I would love to be friends with Fox Mulder on 'The X-Files.' That's almost a little too obvious, but that would be my answer. I'd love to hang out with him.

Kumail Nanjiani

Recitation: by Male by Female

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LoveFriendsFoxHimOutLittle

But nevertheless, it's music ultimately that matters in opera, and opera is a piece of music reaching out as a vision in sound reaching out to the world.

John Eaton

MusicVisionWorldMattersSound

Please understand the reason why Chinese vegetables taste so good. It is simple. The Chinese do not cook them, they just threaten them!

Jeff Smith

GoodSimpleVegetablesUnderstand

I'm a big believer in the value of labor unions and with what collective effort gets people.

John Wells

ValueEffortPeopleLaborUnions

I think I got spoiled and that writing a short story and getting it published, or writing a novel and getting it published, you pretty much get to do the first, second and third draft yourself without a whole lot of interference.

John Sayles

YourselfWritingStoryThinkShort

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

Rita Rudner

DogRelationshipChildHusbandBuy

Some Americans, like those working in government or nonprofits, know the consequences of having their salaries public.

Mary Pilon

GovernmentConsequencesKnowWorking

I think we pursue positive relationships whether or not they bring us engagement or happiness.

Martin Seligman

PositiveHappinessThinkBringUs

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

Mitch Hedberg

BirthdayCandleCakeBuyGotStore

I think - I think the real nightmare place now is less Afghanistan than it is Pakistan. I mean, again, Pakistan is this gigantic country, deeply troubled, kind of almost ungovernable, sitting on top of probably 50 or 60 nuclear warheads. Nobody really knows where the warheads are; the Americans certainly don't know where they are.

Dexter Filkins

ThinkCountryPlaceNobodyKnowNow

You don't have to be someone you're not to get someone else to like you.

Colbie Caillat

SomeoneYouGetLikeElse

Fidel's oppressive legacy will haunt the Cuban regime and our hemisphere forever.

Bob Menendez

LegacyWillForeverCubanOurHaunt

Any joke can be funny, but not any joke is funny. Any joke has the potential to be hilarious to you, but more importantly, the joke has the potential to not be funny to you but to someone else.

Phoebe Robinson

FunnyPotentialSomeoneYouMore

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