American - Comedian | September 12, 1967 -
I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.
Louis C. K.
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When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'
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When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
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I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'
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Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
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Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
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Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
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If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
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If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
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I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
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Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.
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