American - Comedian | August 30, 1948 -
I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
Lewis Black
CoffeeMeIllusionBecauseAwake
Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff.
MorningGreatDayNew DayNew York
A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'
FatherSpacePeopleStartThreeRun
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
LoveValentine's DayDayYouLook
Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight.
SkyBluePuzzleDoingCloudSight
Usually I'm too tired to apologize.
TiredApologizeToo
As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
MoreOutsidePsychoticComicGets
It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!
LiveMenStupidFixWithoutGot
Self-love is a big part of golf.
GolfSelf-LoveBigPartBig Part
All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.
FoodComfortComfort FoodJustLike
Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and wonder: 'Did I have a thought today?' You'll have to go to your 'Thought' app!
TodayTimeBrainThoughtYouWonder
When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.
ThinkYouReasonEverythingGoing
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Lewis Black quotes