American - Comedian | August 30, 1948 -
One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.
Lewis Black
MoneyTomorrowMeRichYouKnow
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
Funny
I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the response is so insane sometimes from people.
PeopleThoughtSometimesThings
When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort of sense of what the common good is, and if you don't have a sense of what the common good is, then at least give to what you think your specific goods are.
GoodThinkYouWrongLostSeem
The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
RealityDemocratsDealingEither
Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun.
TimeDayFunWritingImpossibleYou
Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.
YouBackJokesUpBigDemocrats
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
FunnyCandyCornMadeEver
My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
PeopleProblemUniformAuthority
If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.
GodFaithGreatThinkBetterYou
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
MorningEconomicsEyeLearnYouOut
Everybody's got cable.
GotEverybodyCable
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