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Lewis Black Quotes

American - Comedian | August 30, 1948 -

My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines. My mother was a substitute teacher. Together, they worked really only until they were sixty.

Father Mother Sea Teacher Together

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

Law You Want Company Explain Here

The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.

People American Bipartisan Public

The kids say golf taught them this and that. I get it with the military: A guy joins the military because he needs discipline and has to find himself. But don't tell me, 'Golf helps you find yourself.' I've been playing my whole life, and I'm still looking for myself.

Life Myself Discipline Yourself Me

Socialism appeals to me. It's like imposed Christianity. You've got to share.

Me Socialism You Share Christianity

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.

People Trees Think Doing Healthy

It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'

Work Funny Good Business God Hope

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

Angry Happy Person Citizen

I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.

Change People Slow Talking Down

If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row.

Golf Hotel Week Go Right Days

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.

Now More Stage Started Yelling Even

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

Love Me My Own Outside Head Own

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