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Josh Billings Quotes

American - Comedian | April 21, 1818 - October 14, 1885

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Man Me Advice Find Kind Out

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

Growth Live God Fruit Enough Bad

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

Us Ourselves Disgrace

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Change Opinions Fools Two Kinds Who

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

Remember You Wrong Nobody Forget

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Funny Man Interesting Got Most He

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Adversity Man Training Fighting Him

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

Best Medicine Know Lord Gout Thank

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

Age Old Age Youth Run Difficulties

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

Mistakes Never Reason Conscience

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Perfection Man World Die Enjoy He

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

Fear Ice Will Bear More See

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