Josh Billings Quotes

American - Comedian | April 21, 1818 - October 14, 1885

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

Josh Billings

TruthPeopleLyingSome PeopleTell

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

Josh Billings

PeopleTroubleKnowMuch

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Josh Billings

GoodBe KindHotelMother-In-LawPay

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Josh Billings

TimeBestFeelTongueYouSay

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Josh Billings

WisdomWheelLoudestGreaseGets

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

Josh Billings

TimeMoneyGoMakeLikeFurther

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Josh Billings

GeniusCommon SenseEnoughSense

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Josh Billings

LearningWisdomNeverMadeBigot

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

Josh Billings

TeaOldScandalMaids

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

Josh Billings

LearningWisdomAwakeWideSleeps

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Josh Billings

FunnyWaterFlatteryLikeCologne

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Josh Billings

TruthTruth IsAlwaysBeenDemand

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