American - Comedian | April 12, 1947 -
President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
David Letterman
SilentPresidentBeenCourseHe
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?
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No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.
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Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.
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Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
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It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
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There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.
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As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.
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