American - Comedian | April 12, 1947 -
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
David Letterman
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A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
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If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover.
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Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
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There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
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The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
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I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.
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It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
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Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.
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Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.
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I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
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Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
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