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David Letterman Quotes

American - Comedian | April 12, 1947 -

I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.

David Letterman

I Am Believe American I Believe Both

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

David Letterman

New York Remember You New Ahead Way

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

David Letterman

Change Birds Color Trees Fall Los

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

David Letterman

Wind Hell President Month Guy Off

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

David Letterman

Business Accounting Show Business

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

David Letterman

Great Water People Land Wherever

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

David Letterman

Time Spring Forward You Fall Back

There is no off position on the genius switch.

David Letterman

Genius Position Off Switch

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

David Letterman

Great New York People World You New

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

David Letterman

Funny Dance Talk Act Show Sing

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.

David Letterman

Fun Tough Transition President Years

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

David Letterman

People Strangers New Say True Radio

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