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Adam Carolla Quotes

American - Entertainer | May 27, 1964 -

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

Family Mom Connection Anything Other

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'

Funny Daughter Humor Fire You Know

There are certain things women are better at than men.

Women Men Better Things Women Are

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

Love Women Daughter Never Hire Who

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

Good Parents People Enough Feelings

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

I Am People Me Appreciate Know More

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

Job Experiences Horrible How Learned

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

Work Education Food Mom Kind Never

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

Good Yourself Feel Good Feel You

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

Vote Hollywood Leaving Way Everyone

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Life Family Dog Good Business Focus

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

Government Army Way Taxes Out Get

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