American - Actor | November 4, 1879 - August 15, 1935
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
Will Rogers
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
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Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
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Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
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The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
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We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
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Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
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About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
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The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
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