American - Comedian | August 30, 1948 -
I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.
Lewis Black
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I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.
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The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.
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I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
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Saying that the Palestinian people aren't really a people - that's not a zany thing to say. That's a psychotic thing to say in the midst of all of the politics we live through on a daily basis.
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I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.
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Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit.
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Political audiences are not fun.
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I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke.
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Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'
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There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.
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If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.
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