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Jay London Quotes

American - Comedian | -

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

Funny Father Me Mood Playground Put

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

Personality Dating Me Down Said She

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

Identity Me Worry Need Theft Wants

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

World End Worry Said Nightmares He

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

Training Military Off Set Convinced

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

Me Thought Said More Euthanasia

People read me but they don't subscribe.

People Me Read Subscribe

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

Hair Book Loss Falling Out Buy

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Today Year You Know Do You Know

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

Opportunity Me Window Rock Involves

I saw a stationery store move.

Funny Move Saw Store

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

Time Me Go He Any Could

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