American - Comedian | -
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
Jay London
FunnyMorningHairWatchingTonight
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
FunnyDogFreeOverStartedRoll
I model irregular clothing.
ClothingModelIrregular
You know what burns me? Matches.
MeYouKnowBurnsMatches
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
BossMeButtHimGetGear
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
GirlfriendHerCrabsFishnetBought
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
RoadLonelyDrivingHereTonight
Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?
DoingKnowUpHereAnybodyDoes
At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?
LightYouWonderCountryLeave
I was born nine months premature.
BornI Was BornNineMonths
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
MeArmyEnoughYouSaidSign
A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
JobMeQuestionsInformationGuy
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