English - Comedian | March 14, 1945 -
The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.
Jasper Carrott
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The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.
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I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.
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I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.
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I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.
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I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.
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There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.
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Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.
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My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.
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There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal.
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My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.
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After leaving school, I got a job in a department store not dissimilar to Grace Bros in 'Are You Being Served?'
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