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George Burns Quotes

American - Comedian | January 20, 1896 - March 9, 1996

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

People Hair Busy Bad Country Run

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Book Bad Two Guy Only Read

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

Age Face Here Anywhere Very Pleased

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

Time Down Everything Up Must Come

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Honesty Fake You Acting Got Made

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Age Retirement Ridiculous Still Had

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Age Now Where Thrill Just Putting

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Age Nice Here Anywhere

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Money Die Lose Too Much Much Afford

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Me Remember Sex Dirty I Can Clean

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Honesty Fake You Acting Important

How can I die? I'm booked.

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