American - Comedian | January 20, 1896 - March 9, 1996
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
LoveSuccessFailureHateBetter
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GoodTogetherBeginningEndingTwo
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
AgeTryingSexPoolRopeShoot
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GoodHappinessWomanYouBadMeal
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
AgeDaySmokeHoldSomethingTen
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
BelieveDieNewDoneNowExit
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
FunnySeaSickBoyDeadOnly
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
WiseLearnKnowQuick
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
GoodHereAnywhere
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
YouDownWonderGetting OldKnow
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
WorkMoneyYouBedStayMake
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
RememberSexDirtyI CanCleanAir
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