George Burns Quotes

American - Comedian | January 20, 1896 - March 9, 1996

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns

FamilyFunnyHappinessCaringCity

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

George Burns

AgeGetting OlderHelpYouOldGet

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

George Burns

LoveSuccessFailureHateSomething

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

MeRememberDrunkTroubleDrinkGet

At my age flowers scare me.

George Burns

BirthdayAgeFlowersMeScare

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

George Burns

LifeFutureRestMy LifeLookGoing

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

PeopleHairBusyDrivingBadRun

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

FakeYouHonestTo Be HonestMade

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

George Burns

StressMeKeyWorryYouImportant

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

George Burns

FunnyLiveAgePastPeopleDie

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

George Burns

YouDownForgetFirstNamesUp

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

George Burns

FunnyYearSundayTownSpent

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