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George Burns Quotes

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: January 20, 1896 - March 9, 1996

Topics

Funny Sea Sick Boy Dead Only

I did research when I was pregnant with my first daughter and was horrified by the chemicals in products, even those meant for babies. I would have to go to 50 different places just to get my house and my kid clean.

Daughter Research House Go Clean

Older cars tend to drive like older cars. That is not for me.

Robert Herjavec

Car Me Drive Like Older Tend

It seems like the web, particularly software as a service, provides ample opportunities for you to flourish economically, completely aligned with the broader open source community.

Community Service Opportunities You

We have a toxic ideology, hopefully very small, within Islam; certainly most people, most Muslims, don't agree with this violent, jihadist approach.

People Small Islam Toxic Within

It's great that I get accused of not being politically correct. People need to take themselves less seriously. This world is so screwed up as it is, we've all got to relax a bit more.

Great People Relax World Seriously

For 70 nights, right across America, I've been getting out there with two ex-lovers and we've been playing songs which are so specific about each of us, you just wouldn't know. We're friends now but we can't forget what happened between us.

Friends America You Know Forget Now

It's a humbling thing, having kids. One of my sons came to rehearsals, and now he says Daddy's job is 'go play loud music.'

Music Job Play Go Now Kids

There was a story saying I didn't like contemporary comedians, but it's completely untrue - a lot of them are very dear friends of mine.

Saying Story Friends Comedians Mine

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.

Motivational Goals Momentum Way Keep

I have little taste for fashionable dissipations, cards, and dancing; the theatre and tea parties are my aversion, and I look with little envy on those who find their enjoyment in such transitory delights, if delights they may be called.

Tea Theatre Envy Look Find Cards

We should all be able to live as human beings - and to be recognized as such by the societies we live in.

Chelsea Manning

Live Human Able Human Beings Should

One of the things I was taught was how you deal with language. It's important, very important in comedy.

Language Comedy You Important Things

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