Fred Allen Quotes

American - Comedian | May 31, 1894 - March 17, 1956

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Fred Allen

GoodManHangingWhoHePuns

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

Fred Allen

YouLoseLaundryTaxWayIncome Tax

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Fred Allen

BusinessAdvertisingConfusionAgency

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

Fred Allen

MenSpaceAdvertisingWorldBefore

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Fred Allen

TelevisionImitationFormSincerest

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen

TravelYourselfYouFindBostonUp

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Fred Allen

TalentSomeoneLongWillAround

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

Fred Allen

PeopleTelevisionAnythingWatchWho

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

YearPersonWhyUnderstandWillBuy

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Fred Allen

ParisFirstTaxiStrikesVisitor

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Fred Allen

GoodGreatCompetitionBadPlace

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Fred Allen

FamilyTreeLookKnowUpBecause

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