American - Comedian | May 31, 1894 - March 17, 1956
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Fred Allen
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I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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California is a great place to live if you're an orange.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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