American - Comedian | August 18, 1952 -
The message of great art is to disturb.
Elayne Boosler
GreatArtGreat ArtMessageDisturb
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
MenWildernessStopLostAncestors
My breakup with AT&T is final, and I'm done with Skype as the rebound guy.
DoneSkypeFinalGuyRebound
My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
ThinkAmericaEasyCongressBelief
Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.
MoneySpeechNowSayTwoReplace
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
FunnyDoorLongGoThreeMatter
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
GoodMomBornMothersRuleAgainst
Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.
ReadingFeelHelpYouSometimesHow
Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could see callers' breath coming out of my phone.
YearPhoneNewBreathSeeOut
When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.
MemoryGlassesFlyingBlackEndNew
I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other.
GodThankfulI AmPeopleWorldKnow
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
GreatMoneyGivingYouTelevision
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Elayne Boosler quotes