Alan King Quotes

As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.

Alan King

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: comedian
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: December 26, 1927 - May 9, 2004

Topics

YourselfFeelYouBecomeMoreJokes

On climate change, we are told that there will be a civilization-ending development in the form of massive sea level rise as soon as 2050. Anybody plan to be here in 2050? I think a few of us do, myself included.

Jill Stein

ChangeSeaMyselfThinkPlanRise

A pompadour is actually pretty easy for me; it takes me about five minutes.

Andra Day

MeEasyPrettyFiveMinutesTakes

Being on 'Star Trek,' you have a funny relationship with fame.

Robert Picardo

FunnyRelationshipYouFameStar

I used to make fun of the kids in school who acted or went to dance class.

Matt Dillon

DanceSchoolFunClassUsedKids

With so much money invested in their most promising projects, Hollywood executives will understandably do everything in their power to make their products a success in the marketplace. Therefore, the most expensive films often also get the highest marketing budgets, and are slotted into the most favorable opening weekends.

Anita Elberse

SuccessPowerMoneyMarketingWill

I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

Alton Brown

LovePeopleProblemsDirtyI Can

Russia knows of the vulnerability of her frontiers in this part of the world.

Aly Khan

WorldVulnerabilityRussiaHerKnows

People that create jobs create tax payers, which benefits society as a whole.

Steve Wynn

PeopleSocietyCreateTaxBenefits

The man who cannot believe in himself cannot believe in anything else. The basis of all integrity and character is whatever faith we have in our own integrity.

Roy L. Smith

IntegrityCharacterFaithManOwn

Even if you don't have any dishes, you need a celery dish.

Roz Chast

YouNeedEvenDishesDishAny

All babies are ugly unless they're your baby.

Lorne Michaels

UglyBabyYourBabiesUnless

Whether one believes or not, religion is as real a force in the life of the world as economics or politics, and it demands fair-minded attention. Even if you think the entire religious enterprise is at best misguided and at worst counterproductive, it remains vital, inspiring great good and, sometimes, great evil.

Jon Meacham

LifeGoodGreatBestPoliticsEvil

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